The Tennis Curmudgeon


Lyric O’ The Month

Outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis
Half Man, Half Biscuit

Tedious people tiresome town
Under the gaze of the mayoral frown
Always calm with a gentle breeze
Tarkus in black vinyl please

But what would you do
If the sexton’s wife from the best kept village nearby
Came running with bells round her neck
And says you better move away tomorrow or today
‘Cos when the owl starts laughing
You will all fall down
There’s an outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis on the way

Why it’s Mr Kowalski
It was you all along
That ski lodge would have been mine
If it wasn’t for you meddling kids

But what can you do
When your mum’s in Rampton bouncing off the walls and singing
Who’s afraid of Virginia Wade
Why do that today when you can always put it off until tomorrow
Was our motto

Subsequently engraved on a plaque
As a reminder of the attack
Of Vitus Gerulaitis

We all fall down
We all fall down
We all fall down
We all fall down

Who’s afraid of Virginia Wade
Of Virginia Wade
Who’s afraid of Virginia Wade

An outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis in the town
In the town
In the town
In the town
We all fall down

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